Where is the love?
I was determined from the start. No, not tonight. Because i was already looking forward to the next day. Yes, i have tight schedule but no, it won't affect me. Because i was really determined. I wanted to meet him, have dinner and walk along Clarke Quay to enjoy the night. I know he have always wanted to bring me there. Under the night sky, i was going to confess all the faith that i have in him. And we'll seal the night with a soft kiss, embracing each other as he walk me to the nearest MRT. Maybe i watch too many dramas, and it's affecting my life. But i know that can happen, i mean, why not? Instead, it was just a dream that i create when i was sleeping. He accused me of cheating him, the fact that i wanted an early night made him think that i was on the phone with another guy. The fact that i restricted my calls to none, and him getting a busy tone. I just wanted a sleep, that i deserve. Instead, i got wild accusations and he jumped into conclusions. I had 4 hours sleep, crying myself to sleep feeling very helpless. I was lethargic in class. Sleepy and unfocused just having the thought of him, the thought of him leaving me. Only in the afternoons, did he text me saying sorry. By then, i was already psych not to care a hoot about him. Heck him, ignore him. Consulting girlfriends and confession over lunch. Im holding on to this relationship for this stupid reasons: Friends; mine and his, his pride.
I asked him once: Why do you want us to be together?
His response: Because of Rid and Tasha, for God knows why. And his friends.
The fact that he wants to be with me NOT BECAUSE HE LOVES ME. Now, why did i agree? I felt indebted to him for he tried to help me with Rid. When asked about Tasha, he denied all facts that he got feelings for her. Now, why are you trying so hard to make her jealous, my love? I've read your intentions baby.
Back to last night, i met him. With that sulk on my face and that childish behavior of mine. I dragged my feet all the way from City Hall to Clarke Quay with him on my right blabbering words i can't make out. Either im strange, or he is. Finally, when we managed to find a place to settle down, i started to break down for God knows why. I break down not because of his blabbering, well partly but mostly because i was damn tired. Imagine having lesson from 9am to 5pm and meeting psychotic boyfriend after that. God, that doesn't feel right. I leaned towards him only to realise that there wasn't any response. I don't feel no thing. No tingle in the heart, no spark nothing. It's not like the first time, it's not like before. Even as we kissed, it's just pure lust. Lust.
And that was it. That was the end of all that we had. All that we needed. Everything. It just fades. I pray that when the sun rises tomorrow, all his pain will fade into the night and make him a brand new guy. I pray he is alright on the other side. I pray that he'll forget me. Forget all the love. All of it. Forget me, all of me.
P/S: This post is overrated.
Sorry people.
I asked him once: Why do you want us to be together?
His response: Because of Rid and Tasha, for God knows why. And his friends.
The fact that he wants to be with me NOT BECAUSE HE LOVES ME. Now, why did i agree? I felt indebted to him for he tried to help me with Rid. When asked about Tasha, he denied all facts that he got feelings for her. Now, why are you trying so hard to make her jealous, my love? I've read your intentions baby.
Back to last night, i met him. With that sulk on my face and that childish behavior of mine. I dragged my feet all the way from City Hall to Clarke Quay with him on my right blabbering words i can't make out. Either im strange, or he is. Finally, when we managed to find a place to settle down, i started to break down for God knows why. I break down not because of his blabbering, well partly but mostly because i was damn tired. Imagine having lesson from 9am to 5pm and meeting psychotic boyfriend after that. God, that doesn't feel right. I leaned towards him only to realise that there wasn't any response. I don't feel no thing. No tingle in the heart, no spark nothing. It's not like the first time, it's not like before. Even as we kissed, it's just pure lust. Lust.
And that was it. That was the end of all that we had. All that we needed. Everything. It just fades. I pray that when the sun rises tomorrow, all his pain will fade into the night and make him a brand new guy. I pray he is alright on the other side. I pray that he'll forget me. Forget all the love. All of it. Forget me, all of me.
Now tell me, where's all the love that requires pain?
P/S: This post is overrated.
Sorry people.