Any thoughts of you and me have gone away

It's almost impossible for us to get back again. All our memories have fade away. And im not what i use to be. There are times when you see me laugh, you see me smile. Those are genuine expressions. But for what i am today, it is something i worked on very hard. I don't feel i need you anymore. Not because i don't appreciate you, but the fact you feel that i jeopardized your friendship with your friends. It's so unfair, how you always put the blame on me. Im no longer your punching bag, where you can vent all your frustrations and grieves. It's so unfair how you always whine that i was never there. It's so unfair how you always say i never did anything for you. It's unfair how you always point out my mistakes, how minor. It just is. I don't know, but i feel i fight for this love more than you do. I did everything i could. I planned every dates, i paid for your food and movie tickets most times. I celebrated your birthday for you with your friends, i bought you gifts. I always have to wait for you when you're late. In real fact, you're always late and i always have to wait. Even on our first date, i have to wait. Yet you said, you were the only one sacrificing everything. Is it ever fair for me? You never even bother to do anything for me on my birthday. I don't need expensive gifts to content me, just little gestures. But did you even bother? Honestly speaking, i never felt i was your girl all that while you said we were steady. The feeling suck, yet you still assume i lie. You said i don't love you and that i used you to get over Rid. Is it fair? Then why can't i say that you used me to get over Nana too? Now is that fair? My dear, you're trapped in your own fucking games. You have to try a little bit harder. You have to know that the world is not yours for the taking. Maybe you can reflect why Nana left you. And why i didn't leave you when you're screwed and lost. It's because i fucking love you, that's why i stayed. And not because i sympathize you. Take time to reflect and think, cause i think you fucking need it. Stop blaming others. Stop blaming me now that your life is screwed. You only have yourself to blame. And please, don't try to bring me and your friends down. I don't want to quote what they said to me because i am so not getting involved in your life anymore. And don't blame me if i have to blog about this. It is not bad mouthing you. To bad mouth someone is to say things that are nasty and not true. But this here today, is the truth. The real truth what i truly feels. The truth what you did. And i don't care if you change, because i've changed and i will never go back to my old ways. Those naive days are over. Because i am not going to believe a single thing you tell me now. Good luck, you won't see me for awhile. And if your friends happen to ask you why im not there anymore, just don't blame me.

I've had my reasons to leave.