I don't want to wait in vain for you, love

My sissy religiously updates me about you.

Like this morning when I saw a photo of you,

and your wife... And your baby.

Initially I was upset, not with you but with my sis.

I actually don't care about what's happening in your life anymore.

So I spend the whole afternoon thinking... About the "what ifs"

And I came to this conclusion.

That I am actually happy for you for settling down,

and marrying the "one" and having a family like how you always wanted.

Because even if we end up together,

I don't think I can give you that kind of happiness.

So it kinda settle in pretty nicely.

I haven't found the one, maybe won't find the one,

and that is pretty okay.

Because it is my decision, this is what I want,

and I'm not regretting.

I've been having lots of thoughts on this.

Instead of brooding over the past,

blaming people for decisions that I've made,

and being so hard headed about this,

I'm just gonna leave it as it is.

I'm gonna concentrate on things that matter more,

I'm gonna do what I always wanted to do,

and I guess just embrace this "loneliness".

But... I'm not alone as long as I have Him.

And I guess, that's pretty much it!

2016,

this is gonna be my year oh hell yes!

Work hard, party harder.